guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. sits down at the bar and orders an angel's envy, neat. cat says "i'll have the same - but i'm NOT paying!". barman fetches the drinks, man pulls out the exact amount of money from his pocket, pays drinks and leaves. next night the man comes back in with his ostrich and cat. orders an evan williams on the rocks. cat says "i'll have the same - but i'm NOT paying!". once again, the man pulls out the exact amount of money from his pocket.
third night, the man comes in again with his ostrich and his cat and goes through the same thing again - orders a seven and seven, cat say's he'll have the same but he's NOT paying and the man pulls out the exact amount of money from his pocket to pay for the drinks. barman is pretty curious about what's been going by now so he asks the man what his deal is.
man says "the other day i was walking down the beach and i found this old lamp, gave it a rub and boom! out pops a genie. He says i got three wishes, so i thought well wouldn't it be grand to be able to pay for anything i wanted anytime i wanted? so my first wish was to always have the exact amount of money in my pocket to pay for whatever it is i'm buying at the time."
Barman says "yeah that's a good one, what were your other two wishes for?"
Man says "i wished for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy".